PERİ BAYAV

Izmir- The Covid-19 pandemic hasn’t affected only our health but also our entire lives. The living conditions during the pandemic have caused serious problems for marriages and relationships. Psychological problems have been observed in individuals who spend this period mostly alone at home and the increase in the number of divorce cases in the last year is one of the factors that should not be ignored.

In brief, the pandemic has affected many things in our lives; including our relationships. The divorce cases in Turkey have increased by three or four times since the start of the lockdown in the country. The main reason for divorces is that the spouses do not fulfill their responsibilities. Besides that according to the last reports, violence against women has increased by 38.2 percent in Turkey as of March 2020. Gender inequality in relationships is deepening during the pandemic. We spoke to Marriage and Relationship Therapist Duygu Esman about the effects of the Covid-19 pandemic on relationships and divorce rates.

“Spouses should talk to each other and share the housework”

Duygu Esman said that newly married couples have entered the pandemic period before they internalize their marriage. She mentioned that the couples have to spend time with each other the whole day and this causes serious arguments. “If one of the spouses doesn’t show empathy, and always criticizes the other, this will cause problems. The love, respect, and understanding of each other are very important during the pandemic,” Duygu Esman said, emphasizing that it is possible for the couples to turn this crisis into an opportunity, “They should see this period as an opportunity to get to know each other better and spend more time with each other.”

The spouses should ask themselves; “What does my spouse want and expect from me? My spouse has to work at home the whole day, and then who will do the housework? Who will take care of children?”

“Mostly women are expected to do the housework. During the pandemic, the burden on women has increased and this causes arguments. Harmony, balance, and empathy between couples are very important. A woman can be a housewife or work from home. Mothers have to work from home, do housework, and take care of children… These are very incredible burdens on women. When they do these, they have less time for themselves. Women get exhausted under these burdens. Spouses have great duties in this regard. The spouses should talk to each other and share the housework. If a man does housework, it is unacceptable in our society. I think we should overcome this during the pandemic.”

Divorce cases increase during the pandemic

Duygu Esman emphasized that divorce cases have been increasing during the pandemic. Social isolation, being deprived of social interaction, and not being able to socialize sufficiently have negatively affected couples, Esman said that couples have spent more time together at home and discovered some aspects of each other that they've never seen.

“What do the couples expect from each other during their marriage? How have their expectations changed during the pandemic? If their expectations are met, they don’t have any problems spending time with each other at home. But if they don’t have a marriage they dream of, serious problems break out. But they can turn this crisis into an opportunity. They should see this period as an opportunity to get to know each other better and spend more time with each other.”